What Not To Say...Part 2

People LOVED my "What Not to Say to a Parent of Preemie Multiples" post a few months ago so I decided to do an updated one. Amazingly the comments have changed now that the girls are a little older, have their own opinions and now a lack of patience! Let's just say, going into public is a full contact sport!

If you see a tired momma of twins (or more then 2 kids that are very young) please DO NOT

1. Give me advice! - unless I ask for it please do not give me unwanted advice, it is just rude. If you do not have any children and you stop me to give me advice I might bite you...maybe there should be a warning on my shirt like the puppies at the SPCA? "Bites when provoked!"

2. Touch my baby - this goes for year around but now in winter more then ever I do not want you to touch my baby! Thanks for giving my child the gift of a cold!

3. Say "You got your hands full" - thank you master of the obvious, if you are not going to help by opening a door or carrying a bag then keep your mouth shut, I am just trying to buy some food.

4. Say "Double Trouble" - They don't need any ideas, let's tell them they are sweet and maybe it will rub off!

5. Ask "Are they twins?" - Okay, I have two babies that are the same size that look just like the other one...YES, they are twins! My friend told me she became so tired of people asking that stupid question that she started saying "No, different fathers". SO funny! 

I LOVE it when you say...

1. "They are SO pretty!" - thanks, I grew them myself :)

2. "Let me get that door for you." - love this because doors have become the enemy with no free hands and/or a double stroller.

3. "What a great smile!" - that is one of my favorite things too.

4. "I had a hard time with one, you are amazing!" - thanks, I needed that ego boost!

5. "They look so healthy and happy for twins!" - it was a lot of work to get them there thanks for noticing!

So if you happen to see me out with my amazing girls please keep these in mind. For the most part I am not offended if what you say and do comes from a place of love. If however, you come from a place of judgement you better bring your boxing gloves!

My Favorite Baby Must-Haves!

These are the items that I cannot live with out that make life with twins possible! 

This is only a small list, I will add more later.

Baby Carriers

Daddy and Grace in her Ergo

We have two, and not just because we have two babies. I have the organic versions of the Moby wrap and Ergo. Baby carriers have got a bad rap recently in the news. If worn properly they are not a danger so just make sure to follow simple guidelines like not allowing your baby’s chin to rest on their chest and make sure that their face is not against your chest but to the side. Carriers range from wraps to packs like the Ergo to slings. It is really up to you and your back, pick something that feels comfortable. I love the Moby but the first time I tried to put my fussy baby in it for a walk I ended up throwing it across the room yelling “Who makes these things?”. It took a patient and loving friend of mine to show me how to wrap it on MY BODY! If you decide to go for a Moby make sure you find a friend who has one and have her show you how to wear it, youtube videos and written instructions are not enough!
For the simple fool-proof carrier I love the Ergo and so does Daddy! If you are looking for a carrier that Dad will not mind wearing buy an Ergo. Every man I have talked to says it is their favorite and it keeps getting voted as a "Daddy Favorite". It is great for mommas too, it distributes the weight of the baby to my hips making my back nice and happy. I also love the front zipper pocket for my cell and keys so I can run into the grocery store as fast as possible with two little ones. It also has a fabric portion that comes up and snaps on your shoulders to shield baby from the sun. It can be worn on your front, side and back all of which are comfortable. I cannot say enough good things about this carrier, every parent should have one!

Diaper Bags

There is more to being out on the town then just car seats and strollers. Diaper bags and baby carriers are also items to buy. Many diaper bags are waterproof which is a great idea in theory but make sure that you read the label to find out what they are using to waterproof the material. The manufacturer must print BPA or PVC free on the label, if you do not see that do not buy the item. I prefer bags you can throw in the washing machine over ones that are waterproof. Diaper bags that are chemical free cost more, but there are a few brands that are really great. Ergo makes both a back pack and a front pack that attaches to their carrier, these are chemical free. I am in love with my Ergo backpack! It has just the right amount of pockets and it can be worn as a backpack or it can attach to the Ergo carrier creating one rockin’ baby carrier!

Baby Legs - Leg Warmers

Photo from babylegs.com

Remember those awesome leg warmers we all wore in the 80’s and early 90’s? Well they are out of the ballet studio and back in a very cool way. Baby Legs makes these amazing and adorable baby leg warmers which are helpful in more ways then fashion. These are great when you have baby in the carrier because they do not bunch up and leave part of baby’s leg exposed. (The perfect mate for the Ergo!) They are also helpful when your outfit for the day is destroyed, you can pull out a pair of these and baby still looks cute. I like to use them in the winter or on rainy days as a type of layering. Baby legs are great for quick diaper changes and look adorable under dresses. They come in all types of patterns and colors. Why choose Baby Legs over a different brand? They do not get those annoying fabric balls, they stay up on baby’s leg and they offer many organic options.

Book Resources
Green Babies, Sage Moms by Linda Fassa
Ecoholic by Adria Vasil
Healthy Child Healthy World by Christopher Gavigan

Web Resources
www.babyearth.com
www.ergobabycarrier.com

http://www.babylegs.com/

Mothering Organic Twins and Staying Sane

Once you have kids everyone wants to give you advice. The best piece of advice I have received from a fellow twin parent went something like this; many people will tell you what is best to do but really the right thing to do is what is best for your family. So here I go giving you all advice but please know that this is what works for my family and my daughters, your children may be very different!
By reading just one post of my blog you know that I am a green enthusiast, our home is all organic from food to laundry to cleaning. When the girls arrived I knew I had to find a balance in order to stay sane. Here are a few ways I have maintained my green lifestyle but with a twist.

Cloth diapering with Twins

I am a huge fan of cloth diapering but with twins it can become a little crazy! The amount of diapers we go through in a week is so high that I cannot fathom going with disposables all the time. However, I did find a great compromise. We have a Gdiaper system. What I love about the Gdiapers is you can choose to put a cloth insert or disposable insert in a cloth diaper shell. So far I have done all cloth at home and disposable when we are going out for a long day or at night since it holds more with out leaking. I love the system and highly recommend it for parents of twins who want to dip your feet in both pools. It also gives me the option of going all cloth if I ever become so brave.

Twin Scheduling

Many things bothered me about being in the hospital with the girls but this one takes the cake! So far every parent of twins that I have encountered has talked about "the schedule". It is discussed and lived SO much that it is almost a 5th person in the family. What I mean by a schedule is the twins have a set routine of eating times, diaper changing times, nap times, bath times and bed times. You can never waiver from the schedule or the whole system is destroyed. 

So here are my issues with twin scheduling. 1) My girls are VERY different people with separate personalities. One needs a lot of cuddling and attention and the other is happy to sit in a bouncy chair or stroller as long as she can see me. One of the girls wants to eat more often in smaller amounts and the other likes to eat a lot not as often. What I noticed in the hospital is heartbreaking to me. They would let a twin cry for 20 minutes when she was begging for food because it wasn't time for her to eat. It was everything in me not to stand up and do it myself! It just does not make sense to me to teach my children to push aside their natural feelings of hunger until it is time to eat or to force them to eat when they are not hungry. What is that teaching them? I would prefer to teach my girls to eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full, what a great life skill to learn now! 

2) My life did NOT end when I became a mother. My girls go everywhere with me. I still do all the activities I did before they came home but it takes me about 2 1/2 times the amount of time it took before. The only exception is going to movies, I really hate it when people bring their babies to a movie and they cry the whole time! We get a sitter for that type of date! When you put your babies on a set schedule then the whole household revolves around the schedule. It dictates when you can sleep, eat and go to the restroom! It also prevents you from fun activities like going out to dinner or having a dinner party at a friend's house because you have to go home to bath and bed time. Instead of making them fit a schedule I made up I follow their schedule. When they nap I either use the time to get things done or I nap too. When they go to bed for the night I spend some time with my husband and then I go to bed too. When they are up in the morning I get up as well and we all have breakfast. I always have bottles ready to go so when they decide they are hungry I feed them as much as they want. I love what this communicates to my girls and this is what works for me. If you are a twin parent with a schedule that you love then that is what works for you but for me I like to keep our lives in an organic flow.

The Biggest Help in Staying Sane!

I cannot say it enough, keep a loud environment as much as possible! This is great for parents of single babies too. The girls had a loud environment in the NICU so I keep up the noise level when I came home. The result? My girls can sleep anywhere! They fall asleep in Target, other people's homes, the car and once they slept through a firework show! The beauty of this runs deep, I can do so many things when they sleep. I can run a load of clothes through the wash, run the dishwasher, vacuum the carpet, talk on the phone, watch a movie...and all with out waking them up! 

Wrap it Up